I have a petrifying fear of what my husband calls ‘the closet monster’. I have a very hard time entering a dark room if the closet doors are open. If the doors are mirrored that whole fear factor just skyrockets. Irrational? Sure… but not something I can really control. No, I’m not afraid the clothes will somehow reach out and grab me. Hell, I’m not even really afraid of the closet. I simply have a very hard time with the dark in general… or rather, what could be IN the dark.
The other night we decided to watch some paranormal movies. Yes I realize this just plays heavily on my fears. Things moving on their own, doors slamming, people getting pulled into the deep dark closet by some invisible force. Yeah… that was not the best idea I’ve had in a very long time.
I knew going into the blasted movie I’d likely watch half of it through my fingers, or not at all. I did in fact spend 90% of the movie examining the inside of my blanket. The sounds were more than enough to keep my imagination running full force. Not to mention, the movie even made my husband jump more than once. See, no point in actually watching it if I get worked up enough without opening my eyes…
About midway through the movie, my 9 month old decided it was time to wake up and eat. I breathed a sigh of relief when we paused the frightening movie. I mixed up a warm bottle for the munchkin and headed for his room. Now I know my husband very well. He has this tendency to try and scare me when I’m in the midst of being irrational. I glanced in the living room, no husband. Checked the light in our bedroom, nope not there. That’s when I knew for a fact he was likely in the kids room waiting to scare the holy living hell out of me.
Sure enough, as I tip toe into their room and peek around the corner… he’s standing there all silent and creepy like waiting in the dark for me. The asshole. So not nice. Had he actually succeeded in scaring me, not only would I have been petrified, he would have ended up with two not so happy kids.
I have said it before, and I’ll say it again… It is NOT nice to scare the crazy lady!